2 Corinthians 5:7 For we walk by faith, not by sight KJV

Skinny is all relative.  I know there are some who consider me on the thinner side or who always make remarks when I say I need to lose weight.  All of that chatter is another issue.  The reality is that I have more than a few pounds to lose.  I found some pounds when I should have lost them.  However, I am committed to getting it all together.  I can see it now.  I'm at the weight and fitness level I desire -- I've been there before.  In addition, my doctor says all is good.  If you've read other entries, I do have some health issues.  None of those issues are enough to keep me from the gym.

There was a point when I was lifting my leg about 4 inches and I felt a sharp pain run the length of my leg.  This was not an injured pain that would cause me to stop, but an I haven't done this enough pain that would make me want to stop.  Sometimes I did actually that -- stop.  Mostly, I looked at the clock every couple of minutes wishing my class away as I forced myself to complete this self-inflicted torture.  I probably called on the Lord a more times than I would like to admit to for a little exercise class. As I was lying on the floor, I decided the best way to get to my goal was to have surgery.  Lipo and rib removal really couldn't be as painful as this and my commitment would be one time.  One surgery and then I'd be done.  I contemplated how I would find a good surgical referral and where I would get the money to make it happen.

I continued to work on my plan as I surveyed the others in the class.  While I don't really want to be as thin as the thin chics on the floor with me, they were getting on my nerves.  They were already pretty thin and at the worst there was less than 10 lbs between them and when someone would call them anorexic.  It seemed that Pilates was pretty effortless for them.  I was really annoyed.  I had only taken off the week between Christmas and New Year's.  Not because I was a slacker.  The class was canceled and now my muscles were screaming.

My perspective changed when the skinny girl next to me said to the instructor in between moves, "How can you do this and talk?"  After we all laughed, I took my focus off my deep breadths and could hear the labored breadths of most of the others.  Intermittently, someone would say something that showed she shared my pain.  It was at a similar moment like this when someone came up with the saying "misery loves company."  My suffering was better because I really wasn't alone.  I couldn't hate on all the skinny girls any more -- well, not as much.  They were all suffering too.

Finally, I made it to the 5 minutes of stretching.  While it was a little easier, the important part was it was almost over. I made it!  I'm visualizing returning to the class and almost breezing through these same exercises and being at my goal.  With the end of class, I've even given up my thought of surgery.  One minute after I was done, so was the pain.  Surgery isn't so simple even if working out is hard.